death cab

its a death cab month, the moments when the dark is to dark - the light to light - the bones aching. nothing but the slow drum of a heartbeat, the reverberating sound of whirring fans, soft feather down and the hum of lack of color. somehow - the days are accomplished, but the moments of quiet cannot quantify my existence. i cannot measure within time the slow droll of time, the ticking of seconds slipping by. I'm Young - the colors on the edge of vertigo.  "this is fact not fiction for the first time in years.." and somehow nothing can  "make me feel any less alone." no company can really make up for the good company i long for. silence is an invitation eased into with death cab, my eyes flutter and breath softens the sheets, as the dewy stains remind me I'm alive, breathing - slipping -- into the state of alternate reality called dreams..

moments on the phone

its the moments on the phone, when someone echos the pain you have felt. expressing the love you experience daily when you look in your child's eyes. its the cool rush of the tears falling unheeded by the world. its the throes of struggle when life just punches you to the core - the slow momentum the high drop - into reality. its the - how do i comfort you when i barely knew how to survive myself. just know i am here, always will be. we are soul sisters, a missing link between struggle and survival. we are the shoulders we wanna lean on after a long day. no man can replace a sisterhood. they say Ho's before Bros. I say i will love my sista' before any mista'.. your life, is much like my own, your struggle one still fresh in my mind. lets raise our babies as friends - who will know no end of adoration and love. I know we give it all, i know we go without - but i want to shout from the rooftop -- be proud mama cause your soaring above the average people in the world. everyone can say we chose - but i would say this role chose us. we took the responsibility and made something of it - when other girls would have ran in the opposite direction. just look how far we have come.. i just want you to know lady mama, you are a bright star in the darkest of nights -- your a little glimmer of something great that the world has tried to mask. just Thank you -- for being you